Are you struggling in your marriage and are looking for help? Have you ever considered going to marriage counseling? For those who do not live in California, the Psychology Today website is a good place to start looking for a counselor.

For those who do live in California, I would love to help you personally with your marriage. Please visit my website for more information on marriage counseling.

Good Movies about Good Marriages

This past week, my Tasha and I watched a movie where a couple’s marriage was at the forefront of the plot.  We were excited as we thought we had found a good movie where the value of marriage would be present throughout the movie.  We were disappointed.  The movie was different than we thought.  The plot didn’t highlight the value of marriage the way we were expecting.

This got me thinking about other movies that do highlight good marriages.  He are my top ten good movies about good marriages listed in chronological order:

Field of Dreams (1989).  While this movie is about the great American sport of baseball, it also highlights the committment that Ray and Annie Kinsella have for each other.

Ray: I have just created something totally illogical.

Annie: That’s what I like about it.

Ray: Am I completely nuts?

Annie: Not completely.

Father of the Bride II (1995).  George Banks is back, and this time his daughter is having a baby.  The movie depicts the main character going through a mid-life crisis and then finding out later that his wife is also pregnant.  As he comes to terms with himself, you see his true colors come out as a wonderful father, grandfather, and especially husband.

The Family Man (2000).  Similar to Charles Dickens A Chirstmas Carol and It’s a Wonderful Life, Jack Campbell is given a glimpse of what his life could have been if only he had chosen a different path.  The path he had chosen was rich and extravagant, but also lonely and meaningless.  He comes to learn what life might have been like as a husband and a family man.  The riches that come from family life and marriage are far greater than the riches that come from moeny and prosperity.

Cheaper by the Dozen (2003).  Another Steve Martin film.  Tom and Katie Baker are the parents of 12 children.  While raising their children, they still also make their marriage a priority.  One of my favorite parts is:

Tom: You were checking me out, weren’t you? Katie: Yes, I was.  You got a problem with that?

Tom: Twelve kids later and we still got the heat (pumping his fist).

Katie: Whoo! (Katie turns and starts swaying her hips all while Tom continues checking her out).

The Notebook (2004).  A touching movie that highlights a couple’s committment to each other throughout the years.  An elderly man in a nursing home recounts his marital relationship to his wife Allie, who also happens to be in the same nursing home.  As he is sharing stories from his notebook, she does not recognize that the story is about them because of her Alzheimer’s Disease.

The Incredibles (2004).  A Disney-Pixar film about a family of superheroes.  Mr. Incredible marries Elastigirl and soon learns the difficulty of living a “normal” life.  The film highlights the struggles this couple faces including raising children, working a unfulfilling job, and trying to meet the needs of the family.  Mr. and Mrs. Incredible learn the value of working together and find that their family is strengthened as they are more unified as a husband and wife.

Marley and Me (2008).  The Grogans are shown growing together as a family (and as a couple) all while also raising their incorrigible dog Marley.  This couple is faced with similar life phases and trials as most couples.  They have their own marital problems at times, but they stick it out, stick together, and ultimately find joy in each other and their family.

Fireproof (2008).  To me, this is one of the best movies about marriage.  While it did not have the high production costs and famous actors of some of these other movies, it’s message was still very powerful.  By drawing closer to God, and making your marriage a priority, it is possible to have a committed and loving relationship with your spouse.

Julie and Julia (2009).  This film depicts two women who share similar names and a love of cooking, but are separated by about 50 years in time.  Julia Powell decides that she is going to blog about recipes written and created by Julie Child.  What is wonderful about this film is watching how both husbands fully support their wives in their endeavors.

Up (2009).  Another Disney-Pixar film.  This time, the marriage of Carl and Ellie Fredrickson is depicted in the first portion of the movie.  This move highlights a couple coming together after finding out that they were unable to have children.  Yet another movie that highlights marriage throughout the years.  There are some touching moments when Carl reads the adventure book of his deceased wife, and continues finding adventures as an adopted grandfather.

Do Men Like to See Their Wive’s Imperfect Body?

I participate in an online marriage forum as a resident therapist called Talk About Marriage.  I recently came across a forum post where a wife was wondering if husbands really like seeing their wives naked despite their bodies being imperfect.  The original poster was concerned about her body image because of the effects of having children and breastfeeding.

She outlined some of her concerns with her body (i.e. sagging, scars, etc.) and then said, “My question is, is it possible that he actually wants to see me naked anyway?”

I thought I would publish a few of the responses.

Yes, he wants to see you nude.
You may think you look bad but I`m telling you he most likely doesn`t agree with you.
My wife is very petite, c-section scar, breasts that seem to inflate and deflate depending on time of the month, eating habits..whatever. All these things bother her.
I think she`s a goddess. If she hid her body from me it would seriously irritate me to no end.

 

Conduct an experiment.
Three nights a week, walk around the bedroom totally naked. Then – three nights with a long shirt and granny panties. Alternate – three and three.
Keep track of how often he initiates sex – or touches you – or compliments you.
Or – you can take our word for it – he wants to see you naked!!!

And from the original poster again:

Hearing how men really feel, is tremendously encouraging! The filters we sometimes see ourselves through are often so debilitating, they hold us back, if we let them. Media, porn, etc…makes us feel like if we aren’t at that level, somehow we are sub-par, physically at least. The fact that men check out other women, watch porn, things like that- I think those things make it hard for a girl like me to feel I measure up… because a self-conscious girl doesn’t feel all that sexy~however I realize it’s not up to him to make me confident- that’s an inside job. BUT- knowing that most of what holds me back is ME, makes it so much easier to feel comfortable just being myself & not stressing about what he’s going to think.

More from other posters:

My wife went through three C-sections to have our kids. Her stomach is nothing like it was or what she wants it to be. And yet it is so very sexy to me. It is a constant reminder of her gift to me of our children – what she went through so that we could have our three wonderful kids. It is a part of her and our life together, and makes her that much more attractive to me.

Join him in the shower soon He won’t object. Promise.

sexy is an attitude. act sexy and you will be sexy.

Don’t be surprised when your husband tells you that you are getting better as you get older.
Many men continue to fall deeper in love with their wifes.
I have been married for 28 yrs and my wife is more beautiful and sexy than ever.

The original poster again:

I am so glad I decided to write here~ You all are awesome :-) We showered together about 2 months ago- it went very..ahem…well & he thanked me for inviting him in with me.. I thought it was interesting that he thanked me..that made an impression on me, so ever since I’ve wondered about what he thought of me initiating that. I’m getting better at processing what he says to be honest, but it’s taking practice to believe that he’s meaning what he’s saying..”you’re sexy, hot, etc..” I only partially believed him, but lately I’ve been just going with it & trusting. Again, not because he’s been untrustworthy, just my personal issues that try to take over & tell me he can’t possibly be serious! That sounds so bad! It’s been steadily improving though & being on here is REALLY helping as well! (Not to mention the inner work I’ve been doing to gain a healthier perspective regarding myself.) Thank you!!!!!!

Wives, your husbands really do find you to be sexy.  You see scars and sagging, and he sees years of growing older together.  You say you just don’t look the same as when you married him, he says you look better than ever.  Take a moment and look at yourself through your husband’s eyes.  Let him see you.  Be proud of who you are whether your clothes are on or off.

To read more from that forum post, go here.